if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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