Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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