I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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