Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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