I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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