Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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