I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
