He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
