Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
