Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
