ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just had sex on a roof
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
