It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm really into asian looking animals
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
