all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
where are my eyebrows?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
