I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I die, sorry about rent.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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