Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
