dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
