I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
