We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This is my gift to your gina
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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