I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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