Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
