I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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