Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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