already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
