i think i have herpe
just one?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
