i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
