"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
