she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
