You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
