Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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