I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
