Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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