he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
