Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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