I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
