There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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