Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
