She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
