she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
