Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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