i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
