I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
