dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
