whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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