Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
