Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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