But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
