Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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