If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
