I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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