i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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