just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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