wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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