The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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