i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
