**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
