i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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