I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
