dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
