I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
