She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
