THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
